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Tony and El Brian do Europe (New York to Knackers)

Posted in Tales From the Road by fkngmtns on June 15, 2009

El Brian: Hello, I’m El Brian. I’m in Dublin, Ireland & I have blisters on my feet.

I got to New York on Friday & was greeted by Tony and a shitload of rain. We met up with Gordie, an ex-Denver dweller and super rad dude, at a dungeon style basement that is home to 9 broke-ass Williamsburgers (including Gordie and our old pal Clay Kessack). Later that night, we ended up at a bar called Union Pool. Me & Clay found a couple super nice umbrellas that transformed us into some pretty high class dudes. That night I slept on what may be the world’s largest air mattress, it ruled (thanks Katie Deacon).

Tony: Union Pool is set in the heart of Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It is essentially a cesspool of ‘bridge and tunnel’ kids (willy-burg slang for New Jersey folk), and expired hipster trends. Brian and Clay kept talking about shot-gunning beers to show these New York pussies who’s boss, but that never came to fruition.

Clay Kessack skateboarding on a rooftop in Williamsburg.

Clay Kessack skateboarding on a rooftop in Williamsburg.

Brian: On Saturday we climbed onto the roof of Clay’s building, drank some beers, listened to Lime & watched the sunset. Afterwards we drank some 40s in an alley then headed to a bar in the lower east side called, Meet The Johnsons. When we walked in, Tony was pretty shocked to see Tuyet (fellow editor of FM) sitting at the bar. Tuyet and I had gotten drunk the night before I left and decided it would be a good idea if she flew out and suprised Tony. It was a great idea.

Tony: Sorry to make another hipster note, but everybody and their moms drink fucking Vita Coco in Brooklyn! It’s like the new Kambucha for green-minded, sparrow-legged, rockers. Bodegas sell this coconut milk by the gallon, and folks soak it right up. The old Mexican shops use to sell this shit for next to nothing, but nobody really cared until it was packaged more appropriately and pushed down the throats of coked-up loft dwellers. Brian bought a few.

Brian + Vita Coco = Love

Brian + Vita Coco = Love

Brian: Vita Coco is gross.

On Sunday we met up with Tony’s family for some damn good Italian food, and bummed around the town a bit. We stayed the night at our buddy Rybo’s crib in south Brooklyn. It’s super nice, and mad cheap. The next day was spent recovering from mild hangovers, and getting ready for our departure to Dublin later in the evening. At some point that afternoon, Tony decided to check on our flight information, and discovered that our flight was actually the day before! Fucking boneheads. After we panicked, we rushed to the airport to try and persuade the Irish airline to let us on a plane that left 24-hours earlier. We got put on stand-by and ended up making what we originally thought to be our flight.

The flight sucked. I sat between two old Irish ladies that were both rad but it still sucked. Flights always suck when you’re a fat dude sitting between two people. My ride wasn’t nearly as bad as Tony’s though. Poor dude had to sit between two ladies with babies.

Tony: Yeah, fuck those kids.

Brian: We’re still in Dublin as I write this, waiting on Lynn & Barry, an old friend of Tony’s and her boyfriend who are both amazing people. We’re going to see a bit of the Irish country side today.

Tony: The best part of Dublin has been our encounters with the under class youth. Dressed in track suits with the bottoms tucked into their socks, these kids are called “knackers” in Ireland or “Chavs” in England. The boys wear short hair cuts and slick sneakers, spending most of their day hitting on birds as they pass by the corner. The chavy girls adorn little outfits that push up their breasts, and expose their bellies- which seem to be holding a fair amount of beer. I told Brian I might give it a go, and settle down with a chavy girl for a few years.

A knacker on the streets.

A knacker on the streets.

Brian: Dublin is rad and there’s a lot I want to tell you, but I’m not going to right now cuz I’m in a different country and I don’t want to spend the day sitting in front of a computer. I’m not that much of a nerd. OK, maybe I am a pretty big nerd because I managed to find the only comic shop in Dublin, but being a comic book nerd is less nerdy than being an internet nerd….I think.

Tony: El Nerdo.

Brian: Laterz- EL B

One Response

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  1. FART BUTT V2.0 said, on June 15, 2009 at 4:00 pm

    geez clay has gotten hot can’t wait till that babe finally hits puberty and gets a nice perky rack. be careful in europe don’t go back to the hotel room with the hot european chicks cause well…you know.

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