Tony and El Brian do Europe (FKNG PARIS)

June 27, 2009 in Tales From the Road

Tony: Apparently everybody talks mad shit about Paris, or more precisley, about the people who live there.  After a few nights in the streets of the heart of France, I have to agree; the Parisians are dicks. Yeah, I get it. My French is total shit, and you can talk wicked-good english with a snotty accenct. Well, I can speak asshole pretty well, and am able to pick up on most of the smack you are laying down. So, F-U, dude.

Brian: People from Paris are definitely a bunch of turkeys. And talk about a shithole of a hostel! It was like paying thirty bucks to sleep on rocks, shower in a concentration camp & take shits in a bathroom that was actually built out of shit that they collect in bins after you flush….Ok maybe I’m being a little dramatic but it was still a shithole.

Tony: For all it’s made up to be, Paris is kinda boring. Folks walk around munching on long sticks of bread,  with red teeth from the heaps of cheap wine they consume (only thing cheap in Paris). Everything closes fairly early, and the streets smell like piss. They do have some goddamn good art, though.

Brian: Ooh I’m so fancy and proper with my dumbass bread snacks.

Brian cried a little when he saw it.

Tony: They say that Paris is for lovers, which really sucks when youŕe a bit tipsy on vino and missing your girlfriend. Brian offered to hold my hand while we strolled down the Champs Elysee, but it just wasnt the same. Although, he does have very soft hands.

Brian: The Eiffel Tower is pretty rad. I almost had to fight a Gypsy underneath it. Champs Elysee is stupid. & My hands are soft because I use Curel Lotion homes.

Original B-Boy stance. Sick.

Brian: The Lourve is amazing! The place is huge. You could walk around for days and still wouldn’t be able to see everything. Some of the paintings were so big and intense that my stomach would start to hurt while looking at them. The only downside is all the shitheads crowding everything to take pictures with a flash when the sign clearly says no flash photography. Paris was pretty much lame but I would defintely go back to see The Lourve again.

Tony: Seriously, Brian got really worked up about all these camera flashes. He really loves The Lourve… almost as much as he loves his hand lotion.

Allergies, homie.

Brian: The End.